Tools

As somewhat of a primitivist, I'm also pretty attached to certain pieces of technology for work/fun and also for medical necessity.

I guess I've come to accept that there's a balance to be maintained.



So when I came upon the ultra mega ninja stick 2000 (the marketing guys are coming up with a name, this is the working title), I wasn't sure what to make of it. It radiated power -- an ancient, primal, slightly skunky sort of power. I began to back away from the ninja mega super stick ...

That's when it attacked.



I don't want to bore you with the details, but I fended off the attack with my new jedi ninja super ultra mega sword. The mayor gave me the key to the city and not-too-subtle hint about the marital status of his daughter. You know, the usual hero stuff.



The blade no longer smelled like primal skunk, so I took it home with me. Being a magical blade, it fit perfectly (of course!).



The bad part about being a hero is that when you return home, your problems at home haven't been solved by a lower ranked hero. I had a patch of brambles to clear out.

This was a vexing moral problem. Do I use the primieval power that drains the soul of all nonbelievers within a 50 mile radius and condems them to a life of agony (I forgot to mention this part before, my bad). Or do I use the Black & Decker tool powered by 50 million year-old dinosaurs and ferns, which emits CO2 into the atmosphere, thus dooming us all to a really crapy 22nd century?



I think I made the right choice.